Thursday, January 21, 2010

Nurturing the Individual ~ My Guy William

When it comes to personalities there is no black and white. All three of my children are so wonderfully different and I celebrate each of them in different ways. I do not have a "favorite" child, I love them each differently. I've realized, over time, that nurturing each child and truly seeing who they are is an incredibly complicated task.  Motherhood is harder than any job I've ever had, and as if that isn't enough, it is also the most important job I've ever had.  When my children give me sass or fight discipline I explain to them that my job is to help them grow into healthy, productive, and "good" people.  They don't always like the explanation but there are times when I can see that they are definitely giving the concept some thought.  I'm going to write about each of my children in separate posts.  I'll start with my eldest child, William, who is 9 and in 3rd grade.

Will.  I love how serious, sensitive and passionate Will is.  He is the kind of child that feels so deeply that it hurts inside my chest at times.  As my eldest child I have a unique bond with him.  For two and half years he was the center of my universe.  When Henry was born we welcomed him into our private little world and Will loved that baby with all his heart.  When Katherine was born he was 5 and took on the big brother role with zest.  Will is creative and strong.  He can focus so deeply on what interests him that everything else around him disappears.  Really disappears. His artwork is detailed and thought provoking.  He can break boards in Tae Kwon Do simply by focusing on the object before him and executing the break with ease.  He is a bit of an introvert in that when he needs time to himself he will pull away and entertain himself or just observe.  Will is a thinker.  A deep thinker. 
Yesterday Will came home from school in a foul mood.  When something is bothering him he feels it with his whole being.  Life is so hard, school is awful, everything is just so horrible.  The world crashes down on him and he has to drag himself through finishing responsibilities and commitments.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Interestingly enough, when I woke him up for school this morning he said to me, "I'm actually really excited about my presentation today.  I had such a great topic this time and I know there will be lots and lots of questions.".  The smile on his face and the relaxed way he got out of bed and dressed himself just made me smile.  When he's frustrated I feel frustrated.  Whatever emotion he has I feel it in my whole body, he has a way about him that just makes you want to hold him and love him.  He's the kind of boy that brings you along on his emotional roller coaster.

At breakfast we spoke about the day and he determined that he feels cranky when he has a project due.... light bulb moment ... the realization that for the entire school year he has been stalling and procrastinating when a short term or long term project was underway. Maybe starting to think about the next job after he finished today's job wouldn't be such a bad idea.  Every other week he has to write a paper and present a "job" to the class.  This week he was an artist and he's know for two weeks that he was an artist.  I remind and nudge and when the night before comes he has very little work done on the project.  All year this has been the case.  This morning he made the connection between his actions and his emotions and I could feel myself cheering inside.  I could see that maybe he was beginning to realize that he held the power, he controls what he does and what he does has consequences! 

Maybe I'm not so bad at this Mom thing afterall.


5 Responses to "Nurturing the Individual ~ My Guy William"
  1. Carissa said...
    January 21, 2010 at 8:32 AM

    awww he sounds like a great kid! And don't you just love the teachable moments!

  2. A Busy Mommy said...
    January 21, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    Sounds like Will is an amazing child, and you are a great mom for parenting him individually.

  3. Randi Troxell said...
    January 21, 2010 at 10:21 AM

    what a great post, and a great boy and a wonderful moma too!!

  4. Jennifer said...
    January 21, 2010 at 11:25 AM

    You are not a bad ever. You are a mom that lets her children explore life. I admire that about you(and try to take notes). I know Will is going to grow to be an amazing man!

  5. Shady Lady said...
    January 21, 2010 at 10:27 PM

    What a great kid! And a beautiful post. I can't wait to read the next tribute!


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