Monday, April 20, 2009

Proposal For Improving The Blonde Family's Timeliness

If marriage is a partnership, does that make family a "business"? 

If I were to be reviewed by an independent party (not by my partner because he knows better) in my "business" right now, I think they'd recommend that I be fired. There are many many reasons I could be fired, but let's just take timeliness under consideration today.

We are late everywhere. We are becoming that LATE family.  I know I'm not alone, but I am not willing to continue in this direction.  It makes our family look inconsiderate and it makes me look bad.  And I'm not bad, I'm just temporarily (for about the next 15 years) discombobulated.

Prior to children, I was one of those people who was always on time, and by on time I mean I was a freaky perfectionista with OCD and arrived five minutes (ok, twenty minutes) early to any appointment whether it was business or personal.

Slowly over the years, with the addition of children to our family, the five minutes early has progressed to five minutes late and (gasp), on occasion, twenty minutes late.  This is embarrassing and a source of great angst for me!  

Being chronically late is disrespectful.  It shows you are unorganized and incapable of getting your poo-poo together.  (I really want to say "shit" but swearing is so un-classy) Who wants to deal with someone who doesn't have their poo-poo together?

It bothers me when people are late to meet me, and the fact that we can't get anywhere on time is really pissing me off.

So, what to do?

I'm not really sure.  Leaving 15 minutes before I would normally leave without children doesn't seem to work, even when I give a five minute warning.

Here is what I propose....

If we are to be somewhere at X:00 we will all line up at the door one hour before the required drive time begins for a head count.  All wining, complaining, and wardrobe changing will take place and be completed within 15 minutes.  We will then pile into the car and any teasing, hitting, punching, crying, etc shall be taken care of within the alloted 5 minutes time.  I will pull out of the driveway one half hour before I should have to.  If we arrive one half hour early to said destination, which is highly unlikely, we will read stories quietly, do homework, or sing together like the Von Trapp family.  

Problem solved.

I would love to know what you do in order to keep your family on time.  What are some things you have tried?  Have any of them worked?


14 Responses to "Proposal For Improving The Blonde Family's Timeliness"
  1. zelzee said...
    April 20, 2009 at 5:29 AM

    Sorry, I am one of those that is always on time or early. mother is always late for everything. Drove me crazy being the only kid left in the parking lot waiting to be picked up.
    My mother's trick was to set her clocks ahead 10 minutes. Never worked. She would say, "Oh, we have time, the clocks are 10 minutes fast".!!!

    Sadly, my daughter got that gene....

  2. Jenni said...
    April 20, 2009 at 6:36 AM

    We (and by we, I mean I) and perpetually late. Nothing works. There is no hope.

  3. Stesha said...
    April 20, 2009 at 8:14 AM

    Since the arrival of the twins, our schedule has went out the window. We are late all the time. It is so embrassing and hope to get back into our routine soon.

    Hugs and Mocha,

  4. rachel... said...
    April 20, 2009 at 11:19 AM

    I can't wait for the suggestions, too. I love your idea of leaving early, then reading/singing in the car! That's great!

    I am late more often than not, but I have tried setting all my clocks in the house and car ahead to avoid it. It's worked a little.

  5. Anonymous said...
    April 20, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    OK, I'm going to pretend that your question begs a serious answer and give you one. I prepare the night before. Always have. Clothes are picked, along with head decorations. Diaper bag is packed. Food, if needed, is ready in bags or in the refrigerator. Purse has cash in it. Keys are where they belong. All is placed by the door. And it all long as no one barfs or poops in the last five minutes.

    Dixie (the CA one)

  6. Heidi said...
    April 20, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    My first laugh out loud post of the day (and it's getting late here, already!). I am obsessive about being on time. I get so knarly about it, my husband and kids just do whatever is needed or suffer the grim consequences (a totally wacko wife/mother). It works.

  7. Insanitykim said...
    April 20, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    Man, I always try to lay out clothes, have everything packed, tell hubby we have to be there 1/2 hour before we really have to be...prepare the food, pray...

    But I tell ya, sometimes poo poo just gets in the way, literally like, yeah, literally. And as our family our poo poo can really take a while, depending on who is doing the pooing's a crap shot no matter what. And being late stinks.

  8. Rebecca Anne said...
    April 22, 2009 at 7:45 AM

    This was great.
    I'm one of those people, that are never late. If I do anything it's threathen everyone within an inch of their, kidding.

    I do a lot of pre-emptive, "15 10.......ok 5, everyone start moving the car." Countdowns. I'm also the one that gets everything ready the night before if it's a morning departure.

  9. Chef E said...
    April 22, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    Ha, I figured out as an empty nester now, that if I leave in my own car, so that I am on husband will be the one who has to face the music, but he does not care, as he walks in and acts like he has been there the whole time! Kids, I would pack the night before and just laid it all out for them to get ready...

  10. Stacy Uncorked said...
    April 22, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    Like Rebecca Anne, I do the pre-emptive countdown... It helps to keep the Princess Nagger focused, as she tends to get distracted fairly easily... ;) Hubby, on the other hand, is a work in progress - he forgets to tell me that we have to make a stop or two on the way somewhere (gas, bank) in order for me to 'build in' that extra time when telling someone what time we'll be I make sure I ask him before I commit to a time so I'll know for sure... ;)

  11. Anonymous said...
    April 27, 2009 at 6:00 AM

    Great post! This is so my family, but we are worse. Much, much worse. We're hours late. As a matter of fact, once we had the complete indignity of thinking that we were nearly 2 hours late for a family event, only to find that they had intentionally given us the wrong start time. In reality we were on time!
    That's when you know you're reputation is ruined.
    Found you from Real Life Sarah.

  12. Anonymous said...
    April 27, 2009 at 6:01 AM

    YOUR...I meant your!!!

  13. Jennifer said...
    April 27, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    This is so much like my family. I have yet to figure out a good system. It never fails one of the 3 kids has to go to the bathroom, or get shoes on, or forgot something upstairs, or the dog won't get back in the get the idea. I'm hoping as they get older, things will get better. (fingers crossed)

    found you thru Real Life Sarah too

  14. Real Life Sarah said...
    April 28, 2009 at 6:04 AM

    Oh, that is SO me, too! Someone told me once that being late is a control issue. I don't think I'm trying to control, but I do think I am utterly out of control!

    I also think that I have so much to do (and being the perfectionista that I am) I try to do everything before leaving. "I have 5 minutes, I'll just wash the huge mound of dishes on my counter." Needless to say, it doesn't get done- AND we're late!

    I like your idea, I really wish my kids would act more like those Von Trapps!


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