I love P, I have fun with her, I just can't date her at her house anymore. P is for poison, and her house is a dangerous place for me.
I'm a fun social drinker, I like a few drinks at a party and I rarely have what is considered "too much".
P makes me drink. Seriously, she does. I'm a big girl and I can monitor my own intake but that evil woman refills my glass when I'm not looking and then peer pressures me into bizarre and highly toxic concoctions.
I have now blown chunks out the car window twice on the way home from her house. The first time it was the endless glass of margaritas. Yesterday, the Easter cheer was on and it was all good until she took my wine glass away and poured a Manhattan.
Blech, that was the nastiest drink ever and despite the fact that I probably took two sips of it, I became instantly, staggeringly funny. The girls were rolling on the floor with my brilliant wittiness, heck, I was laughing at myself ..... for all of four minutes.
I went from 0 to obliterated in minutes. My wit didn't just hit the fan, it splattered and stumbled to the door. I was undeniably in that horribly embarrassing stage of "we have to go home now before I pass out on the floor". This is a stage you really don't want to revisit post-college, it is not the least bit attractive.
Such becoming behavior for a 36 year old mother of three! Driving home with my head out the window like a puppy, only not quite as excited to have the wind blowing in my face...
Darling Husband: "Yes!! I knew you were having fun!"
Kidlette 1: "Awww man that stinks. Barf stinks. Mom are you sick?"
No, dear Mommy just ate some bad shrimp.
Kidlette 2: "Again? I think P's house makes you sick Mommy."
Yes, P is evil, she is trying to poison me.
Kidlette 3: "You need some medicine Mommy."
Darling Husband: "I think Mommy has had enough medicine."
ugh.
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18 Responses to "P is for Poison"bad shrimp again mommy??!! lol
sounds like P is a bad influence!
Anyone who serves wine followed by manhattans does sound like trouble in that good/bad way that's hard to leave. If there's a next time - which I'm sure there won't be - you have to promise to take your video camera and do a segment for your vlog :)
Oh, this makes me relive moments I thought I had buried in the past. Evil, pure evil!
P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog today!
lmao! Cant wait to poison you this summer up north! ~Kelly
That is hysterical !! I think everyone has a friend like P !! I have a couple! When you are in your 30's we don't bounce back like we did when we were younger !!
Never had the ummm "pleasure" of getting into such a state. A hangover (2 drinks in, mind you), yes...but to the point of doing the technicolor yawn at the porcelain goddess? Nope.
LMAO @ technicolor yawn!!!! My mother is going to kill me for this post btw!
Ooh...that's rough. I went on one of those "singles" cruises way back when I was 30. I got matched up with a cabin-mate who was 21. She tried the peer pressure thing (what do you call it if it isn't a peer?). I finally pretended to be wasted just to get her to shut up. Good thing she wasn't pouring the drinks herself!
I have a friend like that too. It seems no matter how much I drink, my glass never gets empty. Good hostess or enabler? You always have a good time though, right?
Your husband was driving, right? You had me worried for a minute! Sounds like your "playdates" with P are best saved for weekends? When you have a sitter?
lol oh boy. maybe you should bring over a couple pitchers full of "margarita's" that are virgins and just keep pouring and pouring and acting a little silly. If you acted goofy I wonder if P would too. imagine if you could get away with "getting drunk" on nonalcoholic drinks and then confessing to her later. that would be funny.
I think I have been to P's house a few times, myself!
drink slower :) sorry you barfed, that bites
OMG!!! She sounds toxic but a heck of a lot of fun!!!
You remind me of my mom who NEVER drinks, yet she seems to LOVE Sangria (she insists it's just fruit juice). So when we go out to the Mexican Restaurants she has her own carafe or two or three. She's passed out the whole way home and can never figure out why she has the "flu" all the time after she goes out for Mexican the night b4. Too funny.
You should feed the drinks to her till she pukes this time...
no fun! I think throwing up is one of the worst parts of being human...and hangovers...I hope I never have another one again. The worst..
Well, now you know! No more drinks at P's house :)
Sounds like you had soe fun in the proces of getting plowed, though. And sounds like DH got a good chuckle at your expense!
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