Monday, April 6, 2009

Do You Know Someone Who Snores?

If you are married you probably have nights, on occasion, sleeping next to your spouse, where you find yourself peacefully (or not) listening to the symphony of sounds that permeate the air of your marital blissdom.  

I am allergic to my house, well to be precise, my dog and all the hair in the duct work that I keep forgetting to get cleaned.  So, it is no surprise that I wheeze a little at night and probably even lightly snore.  Some nights I take a Benadryl because my ears and throat are so itchy that I can barely stand it.  The need to simultaneously scratch your tonsils and inner ears with your tongue could drive a person insane.

Have you ever been sleeping and heard a horrible, rumbly, scary sounding snore, and in your subconscious you think,  "Crud, we've only been married for 12 years and it is likely to get worse, how the hooey (I'm trying to give up swearing for lent) will I ever sleep during my 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's?"

Do you have thoughts like, "Will we have to resort to separate rooms just so we can get some zzz's?"  

One night this week the Sleep Dragon visited our room growling and spitting something awful.  

I listened to the disgusting noises, willing myself to stay asleep.  In my mind I began to recall my Dad's snoring.  Growing up, my room was actually below theirs, and I NEVER heard a sound or footstep, but in my teens I began hearing this terrifyingly loud rumbling noise coming from above and all around.  The walls and floors would vibrate in a rolling crescendo as if a freight train were coming through one side of my room, heading out the other and then looping around the house, only to come back for another visit a few seconds later.  How on earth did my Mom sleep through that?  

Then I thought "Good lord I can feel that noise in my throat, what must be wrong with him?  He needs to wear those nose pad breathing things that footballer players wear....uuuooooogh, ghooooooou, uuuooogh, holy moly, I can barely breathe that noise is so loud...   I think that boy needs to see a sleep specialist.  uuuooooogh, ghooooooou, cough, cough, sputter ----eeeeeeeeeeek!!! ---- (sitting bolt upright)  SHIZBIT (that isn't a swear is it?) that was me!"


15 Responses to "Do You Know Someone Who Snores?"
  1. Kate Smedley said...
    April 7, 2009 at 2:12 AM

    Shizbit, that's a great word! That's so funny, I woke myself up snoring the other night too so you aren't alone... used to see a guy who snored so bad though, I literally couldn't sleep in the same bed as him.

  2. Aliceson said...
    April 7, 2009 at 3:21 AM

    Look at it this way, by the time we get the old people snore we'll most likely be hard of hearing too so maybe it will balance out.

  3. theothermother said...
    April 7, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    Since I sleep alone, I don't want to know if I snore....or drool!

  4. zelzee said...
    April 7, 2009 at 10:28 AM

    Whenever it would get bad, I would think to myself, "All is well, at least he is here next to me."

    Don't know if this will help, because I have been divorced twice.....
    none of the reasons were snoring, though...

  5. Shawna said...
    April 7, 2009 at 10:59 AM


  6. Kathy B! said...
    April 7, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    You know it's bad when your snoring is so far off the chart that you're waking yourself up! Your husband is either a deep sleeper or a good ignorer :)

  7. Unknown said...
    April 7, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    I have an award for you!

  8. Jenn@ The Crazies said...
    April 7, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    I totally know what you are talking bout... but my hubby was diagnosed with Restless Leg and Sleep Apnea and so he now has a CPAP machine that makes he looks like darth vadar but the snoring has stopped all together! Perfect considering I dont have an extras bedroom LOL

  9. LadyStyx said...
    April 7, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    LOL!! Oh heavens. My husband is the same way. I dont know HOW he manages to sleep through the racket he makes. Funniest part of it is that he denies he snores. now me, I know I snore and have woken myself up with it.

  10. Shady Lady said...
    April 7, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    ROFL!! You poor can't even escape to another room.

  11. Hit 40 said...
    April 8, 2009 at 5:25 AM

    Oh my the hubby snores... it can make vacations horrible!!

  12. Alice Audrey said...
    April 8, 2009 at 7:31 AM

    LOL! I've done that. Actually, my dh snores something awful. It rattles the rafters. But the worst is when my own snoring wakes me up, so I'm not going to say anything to him.

  13. Chelle said...
    April 8, 2009 at 8:11 AM

    Fiona, it's really nice to "meet" you :)

    I'm enjoying your blog and plan to continue reading, this post particularly cracked me up because, although I'm not a big snorer (at least I don't think I am), I have been known to wake myself up by talking in my sleep.

    And I STILL blame my husband.

  14. Jenners said...
    April 11, 2009 at 5:57 PM

    My husband always said that I snored ... and I never believed him. He even tried to videotape me one night but couldn't get the proof. Then my 4-year-old (who often asks me to come sleep with him when he gets scared after bad dreams) said he didn't want me to stay with him anymore because I made loud noises ... he then totally imitated the snoring sound. So, I guess I snore! And I'm going to have to start using the word shizbit!

    Thanks for visiting my blog the other day ... I very much appreciate it.

  15. RachelFerrucci- MamaRucci said...
    June 22, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    LMAO- Now I know why we get along so well!!! I was literally writing a post with the same scenario. LMAO- I don't need to write it now.


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