If you are married you probably have nights, on occasion, sleeping next to your spouse, where you find yourself peacefully (or not) listening to the symphony of sounds that permeate the air of your marital blissdom.
I am allergic to my house, well to be precise, my dog and all the hair in the duct work that I keep forgetting to get cleaned. So, it is no surprise that I wheeze a little at night and probably even lightly snore. Some nights I take a Benadryl because my ears and throat are so itchy that I can barely stand it. The need to simultaneously scratch your tonsils and inner ears with your tongue could drive a person insane.
Have you ever been sleeping and heard a horrible, rumbly, scary sounding snore, and in your subconscious you think, "Crud, we've only been married for 12 years and it is likely to get worse, how the hooey (I'm trying to give up swearing for lent) will I ever sleep during my 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's?"
Do you have thoughts like, "Will we have to resort to separate rooms just so we can get some zzz's?"
One night this week the Sleep Dragon visited our room growling and spitting something awful.
I listened to the disgusting noises, willing myself to stay asleep. In my mind I began to recall my Dad's snoring. Growing up, my room was actually below theirs, and I NEVER heard a sound or footstep, but in my teens I began hearing this terrifyingly loud rumbling noise coming from above and all around. The walls and floors would vibrate in a rolling crescendo as if a freight train were coming through one side of my room, heading out the other and then looping around the house, only to come back for another visit a few seconds later. How on earth did my Mom sleep through that?
Then I thought "Good lord I can feel that noise in my throat, what must be wrong with him? He needs to wear those nose pad breathing things that footballer players wear....uuuooooogh, ghooooooou, uuuooogh, holy moly, I can barely breathe that noise is so loud... I think that boy needs to see a sleep specialist. uuuooooogh, ghooooooou, cough, cough, sputter ----eeeeeeeeeeek!!! ---- (sitting bolt upright) SHIZBIT (that isn't a swear is it?) that was me!"