As I sit down to write, I have a funny feeling that this post will go in a different direction than I had intended to go today. I thought I'd write about the project that never ends, the clients that want a five thousand dollar site for $500, holiday madness .... but I've just completed a two hour stint wrapping Christmas gifts and it was interesting where I found my mind going. I went back to high school, thinking of all the stupid embarrassing awkward "girl" moments that I'm sure I learned something from .... or not.
Do you ever look back and wonder if you may have been slightly delusional or perhaps frighteningly psychotic as a teenager? I don't. Nope. Never.
For example, I never initiated a break-up with a boyfriend, only to have him whole heartedly agree that our relationship was over. Truly a mutual breakup. The relationship had run its course, there was really nothing left to say. It was fun and it was over. But damn that ass, he didn't cry and beg me to reconsider. He didn't even say how sad it was that our friendship was ending. He just said, yup, yer right. That absolutely did not drive me crazy!
Never. Happened. Well, OK, maybe that happened.
My senior year of high school was a good year, fun, nothing outrageous. I went to a boarding school in northern Michigan, yes NORTHERN MI, where winter lasts until June and you go absolutely insane from the white walls created by heavy snowfall day after day. Add to that the fact that it was an arts academy; musicians, dancers, writers, actors, and visual artists, all snowed in eating and breathing their "creativity". February was always interesting. Compare it to what some might consider the craziness of "that time of month", and you have what I can only describe as a school full of teenagers with a case of PMS on Crack.
In any case, at the beginning of my senior year I met a guy. He was this charmingly goofy, sort of funny guy that sat behind me in one of my classes. I'm not even sure how we got to know each other but the silly classroom flirty routine turned into something and we began "dating", if you could call it that. I'm not sure you actually go out on dates when you are at a boarding school in nowhere MI, there isn't really anywhere to go. In any case, we "dated" for most of the year and we actually developed a nice friendship. We shared our family crap stories, listened to a lot of cool music, and spent plenty of time together. I think I may have gotten my start as an editor while helping him write papers. It was a nice friendship.
Things were cool, comfortable. I'm not saying I'm high maintenance or need a lot of affection and attention but I am a Princess (thankfully my husband loves the role of "Prince" and adores the Princess in me!) and one day I decided that something wasn't quite right. This wasn't how I wanted it to be, I was going to break up with him because we just weren't right together. I said, "We don't really have a relationship. You don't treat me like your girlfriend." He said, "You are right." (thud) UH, OK. That was not really what I was expecting to hear but ... OK. What? Are we breaking up? Are you breaking up with me?
Holy whiplash to my ego! This guy was just desperately waiting for me to give him an out! Doesn't he know what he'd be missing out on? I mean come on! I hated that it was so easy for him to walk away. How could he just turn the lights out on our friendship so easily? One day we are hanging out, the next we are not. And that was cool with him. How come a guy can turn off any kind of emotion or feeling with the snap of a finger? And there I am, mutant drama teen, all pissed off that it hadn't gone down on my terms.
I was mad and sad and frustrated. What a sucky way to lose a friend. I kept sitting at the same lunch table with our friends - let that jerk see how happy I am without him. WTF? I was the one that wanted to break up with him, so why was I so mad/sad/heartbroken? I even made him dance with me at Prom, the poor guy danced with me out of pity. LMAO, a pitty dance. Pathetic.
Even worse? This was the dress I was wearing....