Saturday, April 18, 2009

A Discussion About Bowel Movements


I've been blogging for about three and a half months now and I really haven't talked about poop yet, other than the poopy toilet water that was flooding my laundry room a few months back. I was thinking earlier today that, as a pseudo "mommyblogger", I should probably get my feet wet soon, so to speak. I really want to talk about boobs but my hubby isn't there yet. I figure if I can embarrass him in a hundred other ways he'll be numb to the pain and I'll be talking boobs by my six month bloggoversary, and perhaps be able to mention the "V" word by the time I'm nine months in.

First things first.  In our house we call the excretion of feces "poop".  When I was growing up my parents introduced it as "doo-doo".  I had friends that called it a BM, as if it was more polite to say it that way.  In fact, I had to ask what it stood for, and now I know.  

So, we have a little poop process in our house. A certain young child who is three and a half, and perfectly potty trained, does a bizarre little dance when she starts to feel the "urge".  She is a SHE... what happened to the whole "girls potty train easier/faster?"

They lied. 

You LIED to me, either that or I have been blessed with a defective pooper. Here is a little how it goes...

A very strained look of contortion comes over DD's face.

Me: Do you need to go potty?

DD: I'm not pooping.

Me: Uh, ok.

DD: I'M NOT POOPING! (shrill angry scream)

Me: OK

DD: HURRY THE POOP IS COMING! (running to the bathroom)

Me: OK

DD walks in to the bathroom, looks around and comes back out.

DD: I change my mind

Me: OK

A few moments later.....

DD: aaaaaaah Mommy Help ME! I have to POOPY!!!  Run Run POOPY!

Me: Ok, let's go. (See, I know now not to get too excited until the third call of impending poop.)





So, there you have it.  With this Poopy blog entry, I have officially pledged myself into the ranks of Mommybloggerhood!

comments

15 Responses to "A Discussion About Bowel Movements"
  1. Joy said...
    April 18, 2009 at 1:29 AM

    Well now, let me be the first to welcome you to the poop club. I kinda felt that way about it the first time I wrote something on the subject. If my memory serves me right it was about how many wipes it takes to clean my DD's butt and how many this particular poop took. Got a few funny comments and a couple snarky, did ya' have to go there, comments. All and all I was glad to finally cross that line because ya know what? Poop happens!

    :-)

  2. Hit 40 said...
    April 18, 2009 at 3:07 AM

    Wow! Thanks for that this morning :-)

  3. Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...
    April 18, 2009 at 4:39 AM

    Thank you!! Great morning post hahaha.... you are now part of the 'in' club! have a great day!

  4. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...
    April 18, 2009 at 5:27 AM

    That's too funny! I started blogging too late to join in the poop club since Princess Nagger is now 6! ;)

  5. Rachel said...
    April 18, 2009 at 5:41 AM

    Congratulations. I've been blogging for a year and have yet to post about poop... People who call it BM freak me out. Yuck. Just say POOP already!!!

  6. Margo said...
    April 18, 2009 at 8:09 AM

    it was going to happen sooner or later. with my younger daughter now 13, I must say it was only a few years ago that I even started to stop using the word "potty". I stopped for a while until we got a new puppy... now we're all back to the poop talk. (that is a total myth about the girls. vs. boys and potty training - I do remember that quite clearly :)

  7. Zoe said...
    April 18, 2009 at 8:51 AM

    welcome to the poop club. i have talked about dog poo on my blog...maybe not kid poo though. every time ava poops i feel like i am coaching her through childbirth!!!

  8. Chickenista said...
    April 18, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    too funny sounds like my little girl. She's only 2 and a 1/2 and shes "afraid" to go by herself. So she puts it off till yea "hurry now momma!" Same as Zoe like a birth coach! "it's ok honey, just push. Good Job!" LOL

  9. Momma Bear said...
    April 18, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    I love poop posts!!

  10. zelzee said...
    April 18, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    OMG cracked me up! I could soooo picture the poop drama!!

  11. Amber said...
    April 18, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    "Poop?" I prefer "brown." And my life was full of it. http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/02/25/postcards-from-the-edge-of-the-potty-seat/

  12. Trenches of Mommyhood said...
    April 18, 2009 at 7:27 PM

    Welcome to the club.

  13. Rebecca Anne said...
    April 18, 2009 at 8:40 PM

    Now you've done it! It's official. Your a Mommyblogger (smile) This was hilarious and entertaining and brought back all sorts of memories from when my daughters were little teenie ones.
    Come to think of it, I haven't mortified my teen daughters with stories of their poop moments around their friends yet.
    I need to get on that, the clock is a tickin~
    Rebecca

  14. Anissa said...
    April 19, 2009 at 8:12 AM

    I have a three year old and around here I have to sit on a little stool in front of him so he can put his head on my shoulder to poop. What a site to see!! LOL

    That was to funny!

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