Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The One Where I Grocery Shop in Hell

Some days I wonder who the hell's life I dropped into.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine grocery shopping with a loud child singing "YER DEAD, YER DEAD, YEE-EER-ER DEAD"  to the tune of something familiar that I can't name at the moment.  Did I mention loud?  You may have heard her potty mouth rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Poop?  How about You Are a Stupid Penis Butt?

She did.

A torturous traipse through the store so that my family will enjoy a nice home-cooked, Weight Watchers friendly meal tonight.

Why, yes, nasty old wicked faced, evil eye lady that has obviously never had a child, I actually was trying to cover her mouth with my hand.  And, yes, I did say the "S" word (shut up) ... oh, come on, seriously?  You all know that the "S" word has come out of your mouth before so quit "tsk-ing" at me.

I needed a red onion.  A bunch of cilantro.  Couscous and a lemon.  I wasn't leaving until I had those items and I'm sorry for polluting your air, Denver, but my child was safer if I at least made it to the car with those items.

I had a glimpse today.  A small glimmer of understanding. 

Suddenly, I could not seem to remember why I don't believe in spanking.

Whatever the reason, I'm sure my child's bottom is thankful at this moment.

** Turns out my Bestie from the 'Hood @childhood had a crap-ass day too.... check out this one HERE .... this message was brought to you by a smoking loon -- at least that is what the bottle said.


7 Responses to "The One Where I Grocery Shop in Hell"
  1. Jen @abusymommy said...
    April 13, 2010 at 5:03 PM


    Yeah, the S word has slipped out of my mouth a few times too - but only after words like penis in the grocery store - I totally relate...

    No body said being a Mom was pretty!

  2. Childhood said...
    April 13, 2010 at 5:18 PM

    Why yes... I have heard the old time favorite "twinkle twinkle little poop"!

    Up above the potty so high... like a butt up in the sky...

    Oh yeah...

    I've been there... *sigh*

  3. ScrappinMichele said...
    April 13, 2010 at 5:23 PM

    Yep, soooo been there. Wish I could say that I totally don't get what you mean. But I think I've heard those songs 4 times at least!!!

  4. Anonymous said...
    April 13, 2010 at 6:23 PM

    And she's so stinkin' cute! Like a little angel kinda cute!


  5. Shady Lady said...
    April 13, 2010 at 9:45 PM

    Oh...then you haven't heard my rendition of "poopie bells"? (blush) But we've talked about how we only sing certain songs in the privacy of our own home. Somehow this has worked...so far. ;)

  6. Kathy said...
    April 15, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    Try my approach, I say to the kids, "Just wait until I get you home to your mother!" *grin*

  7. Stesha said...
    April 16, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    My hat off to you, because I would have just walked out of the store...with the kids of course. Grocery shopping is not my favorite pastime time. So, when it's stressful I can't deal.

    Hugs and Mocha,


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