Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I Am A Random Vegetable Grower Having Computer Sex


I'm loving this whole Tuesday Random Thoughts thing because my mind is overrun with random thoughts right now and I'd love to share just a few so that I can get them out of my head and let a few more in....

My first week as a vegetable gardener and we have growth people! Actual real living plants are growing in my garden that I planted, with my hands, in my yard.... for real! I'm so enamored by my garden that I made a vlog about it - pathetic geekness meets domestic horticulturalness - it'll be a big hit I'm sure! Don't worry I won't share it with you unless you beg.

Did I mention I'm going to Chicago without tickets to Blogher? So if you know anyone who falls drastically ill, loses a job or a pet and can't make it? Tell them I'll buy their ticket. I'm nice that way.

I went to a presentation on animals for the second grade yesterday. They gave power point presentations with MAC laptops - I'm jealous. I want to be in second grade again just to play with computers. I'm sure then my geekness would be elevated to ubergeek and then I'd be even sexier to my hubs... did I mention how turned on he is by the fact that I have been swallowed by social media and all the trappings of web design and such? He can barely walk because of the excitement. I mention something techy it would be nice to have and it shows up hours later.... he's like the Fair Godmother of Technology. I LURVE him! Let's just say give computer sex a new meaning....

I have a new client that loves me so much she actually squealed yesterday. Squealed! She needed me, I was there. What can I say? Do you think she'll orgasm when she sees her business double because of my genius? God, I can't get enough of myself today.

Last item... my abs are killing me. I got on the Wii Fit yesterday because everyone in the blogosphere is all so excited about it and I couldn't get to the gym because K is home for the summer already (preschool sure gets the shaft!). Anyway, do you know the bitch trainer told me that it had been 229 days since I'd set foot on the balance board thing? She berated me and then told me I hadn't reached my goal. She also mentioned the few pounds of Chipotle and bottles of wine I'd partaken of this winter... catty bitch. I showed her by kicking her ass and achieving bodybuilder status on everything. Take that, bitch!


24 Responses to "I Am A Random Vegetable Grower Having Computer Sex"
  1. Insanitykim said...
    May 19, 2009 at 8:02 AM

    HAHHAHAHH! *wiping eyes* oh man...the title alone got me.

    I just realized something...us cyber moms are gonna TAKE OVER THE WORLD! As soon as I master HTML dude, I am boarding the ship...what shall we call ourselves, other than hot sexy cyber mamas that cause our hubbies to stagger around and regular moms to squeal?

    See, I love the elliptical. It lies to me, telling me I went five miles and burned 500 calories in 30 minutes (purrring for the elliptical)

  2. Randi Troxell said...
    May 19, 2009 at 8:07 AM

    your so funny... i looove this randomness!!!!

  3. Anonymous said...
    May 19, 2009 at 8:11 AM

    That's why I haven't set foot on my Wii fit in ages.Guess at some point I'll have to kiss and makeup because the fat ain't gonna melt off my ass by itself.

  4. GreenJello said...
    May 19, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    Yeah. I haven't stepped foot on the WiiFit since we got it for Christmas. And then I only did a couple things on it. It's gonna ream me good next time I dare take it on.

  5. just another mother said...
    May 19, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    Mac's rule. Call me a geek too... we have one Mac and one "not a mac" computer.....

    I need a Wii.... but can't really justify it, with a Xbox 360 + PS2 + Gamewave in this house.... we're junkies. And we're not lazy!

  6. Heatherlyn said...
    May 19, 2009 at 9:42 AM

    I have been religiously avoiding our wii fit since I first created my profile because I've heard about wii chastisement. Oh, and because I would actually have to move my body if I used it.

    I’m loving your cyber geekiness. You make it sound fun. And desirable.:)

  7. Unknown said...
    May 19, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    You are to funny! I need to get a new wii before I can do that.

  8. AiringMyLaundry said...
    May 19, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    I hate my WiiFit. It's always being mean to me. I usually always gain weight and it's all, "Why? Why?"

  9. Unknown said...
    May 19, 2009 at 12:44 PM

    Girl...you crack me up. I was thinking of going to BlogHer without a ticket myself. It would be worth it just to meet everyone, and partay! I just got the EA Sports thingy...it's gonna kill me I'm sure!

  10. zelzee said...
    May 19, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    Hooray on your little green sprouts!

    I think sitting at the bar in Chicago is where it's (going to be)at!!

    Exercise is so overated..........in my opinion.

  11. Hit 40 said...
    May 19, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Everyone is truly talking up WII fit. Maybe my boys and I would enjoy it for the summer!

  12. Soge shirts said...
    May 19, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    lol tell that bitch who is boss. Wii fit trainers are supposed to be jerks.

  13. Jennifer said...
    May 19, 2009 at 4:57 PM

    LOL!! How funny is that!!! Oh you WILL be my Partner in Crime at Blogher!!!

  14. Lagean Ellis said...
    May 19, 2009 at 9:43 PM


  15. Laoch of Chicago said...
    May 20, 2009 at 12:18 AM

    Chicago is beautiful in the summer.

  16. Jennifer said...
    May 20, 2009 at 1:10 AM

    Hmmm. Maybe that's my problem. I've been getting on the Wii Fat.

  17. Jenni said...
    May 20, 2009 at 6:35 AM

    Are you on the BlogHer waiting list?

    I soooooo wish I could go!

  18. Rebecca Anne said...
    May 20, 2009 at 8:08 AM

    Woohoo, you let the thoughts rip today and I'm loving it! This set of smiles and laughters (although muffled through clenched teeth, caution you know) was exactly what I needed this morning~
    P.S. I want to go to blogher! Just crash the party, I'm sure they'll let you in

  19. Otter Thomas said...
    May 20, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    Stopping by late for Random Tuesday. I hear a lot about this Wii Fit person. I get mad enough at video games that don't talk shit. I know this is not really a video game but it comes from a console. Either way I would definitely have to kill her.

  20. septembermom said...
    May 20, 2009 at 10:27 AM

    You're so funny! I think I'm afraid of the Wii Fit. My kids want one, but I don't know if I'll be able to share the house with it! It could make me cry possibly after a workout:)

  21. Margo said...
    May 20, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    I don't plan on getting the wi-fit but am wildly curious how it can be mean to you. That sounds scary that "she" knows you ate chipotle. Can I get an Amen to female humans still being the boss of her? Can we muzzle her? Love your randomness :)

  22. Sweet Serendiptiy said...
    May 21, 2009 at 4:43 AM

    You are a crazy nut. I love it! LMAO
    And I am so jealous of your hubbie's awesomeness. Most hubs, including mine, hate the whole blogging social media butterfly thing. I have to make up for it with regular sex.

  23. Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom said...
    May 22, 2009 at 6:17 AM

    I am cracking up! I have not started Wii fit yet because I know I'd throw something at the tv. She's got some nerve belittling you like that!

  24. Jendi said...
    May 22, 2009 at 6:26 AM

    I need a fairy godmother of technology!

    Congrats on the garden! I enjoy it so much I actually started a blog - not that I post more than once a week, but it's there. jendisjournal.com/gardenvines I did a vlog about my garden and was lame enough to post it. People that know me in real life actually watched it and commented to me - http://jendisjournal.com/2008/11/21/my-new-garden/


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