In the spirit of informative neighboring I thought I'd compose a letter to prospective home buyers so that they might better understand what they would be getting into by purchasing a home next door to us.
Dear Prospective Home Buyers,
Welcome to our fantastic family neighborhood. If you have children this is the perfect place for you and you will undoubtedly be forever thankful to have us as neighbors. If you don't have children I'm not sure this is the place for you. We will love you, but you may not love us.
We have three children and, while they are adorable they do make a little bit of noise. You may notice that your bedroom window overlooks our backyard where our detached garage is located just off the alley. (This is the city after all). On the weekdays you may hear me screaming "get in the car", "we are late", "get off the swing", "get in the car", "GET IN THE FREAKIN' CAR", about fifty times, but school starts at 8 and so this process rarely takes more than 5 minutes.
Every Saturday and Sunday at 7am you can expect the repetitive sounds of our sons practicing basketball (again the detached garage is turned sideways so we have a driveway/sport court thing that your kids will love.) I apologize in advance if a ball ends up on your roof or a frisbee through your open window. Don't mind the screaming three year old, she just likes to get her brothers' attention and will pitch a fit until she gets her way. Both boys do tend to beat on each other but unless there is blood or broken bones involved, please do not call 911.
As for my darling husband and I, we are fun loving people. If you are a mom you will adore the Happy Hour Playdates that I often host with moms from other blocks. These gatherings can often get a bit loud but we have a fence and as long as they are all contained us moms are happy to let them enjoy one another. When the dads get home from work our Happy Hour often leads into Dinner Hour. This is so much fun .... if you have kids, that is.
You will LOVE being my neighbor. I will always run out of eggs or sugar, etc. and you'll be able to get to know me really well when I ask to borrow some! I grow tomatoes in the summer and will be dropping them on your front porch by the bucketful. I promise not to let my dog poop in your yard and I'll pick up your mail when you go on vacation. How fun will all this be?!! ... if you have kids, that is.
Summer is coming and we have a really cool backyard, if you have kids you will definitely want to be moved in by then. I hope that this letter will prove to be helpful in your decision to buy this house.. if you have kids, that is.